🤯 Doubts, second thoughts and a cold coffee | Lau

Here I am again: going round and round in my head, looking at bootcamps, asking myself whether a career change is really worth trying. Is it actually possible to start from scratch and do something else? Does this turn make sense, or should I just quieten my mind and stay in accounting, trying to improve inside “my” field?

🤹‍♀️ The dilemma of the two Lauras

One part of me tells me to stop thinking so much, to just work and be done with it. That what matters is having a stable job, good conditions and time for my children. Nothing else.

But the other part, the one shouting louder lately, knows that is close to a fantasy at this point in my life. A good job, good conditions and stability starting from zero? It sounds nice… but with my new circumstances — being a present mother — I find it hard to see.

⏳ Impossible hours and rigid cultures

I feel that to achieve that I would have to work more than my body and my current life can hold. Companies with rigid structures are not usually ready for people like me, with different timings and different rhythms.

I have thought that maybe my place is at a startup, where mindsets are more flexible and roles more hybrid. I am very “hands on”, I adapt, I get things done. But of course… how do I get there?

🚪 Closed interviews, closed doors

Yes, I tried. I went to interviews. But the hours, the commutes, the logistics of being a mother and a professional at the same time… it all becomes uphill. I got tired of feeling rejected.

I do not blame them. They do not know me. But it hurts. The job hunting process has always been frustrating for me, because I never knew how to “sell myself”. I know what I am worth (when my mind is not sabotaging me), but I do not want to prove it with empty speeches or LinkedIn profiles in English that do not represent me.

💭 The constant mental struggle

And so I go back and forth between what I should do and what I actually want. One more internal battle… another mental muddle along my way.

💻 Learn alone or look for guidance?

I decided to look at bootcamps because I thought: can I study on my own and learn? Of course I can. But I am completely new to this world and I need clear guidance.

I watched hundreds of videos, tutorials, and I understood that there are so many programming languages, frameworks, paths like front-end, back-end, full stack… and honestly, without a structure, without a roadmap, it is very easy to get lost.

📁 And after studying, what?

Another big reason to choose a bootcamp: once I “finish” studying, how do I get a job? How do I put together a portfolio if I do not even know where to start? How do I transform my CV, my professional profile, if I have nothing yet to back it up?

Those questions weighed on me. So I made up my mind: I am going to study at a bootcamp.

🔍 Choosing was not that easy…

The search for the right bootcamp took longer than I expected. There is so much on offer and it was hard to decide. My two criteria were clear: an affordable price, and that it could be done asynchronously.

100% of the ones I looked at offered live streamed classes, from 18:30 or 19:00 until 22:00 or even later. For me, that is simply impossible. I have three children I pick up at 16:30 and from then on the marathon begins: games, shower, dinner, bedtime stories… and then, tidying up, washing clothes, getting bags and snacks ready for the next day.

🧩 My solution: real flexibility

Luckily, at Upgrade Hub I found an option: I could watch the classes the day after they were broadcast. That changed everything.

I work in the morning. In the afternoon I study until it is time to pick up my children. Then, once they are asleep, if I have any energy left, I go back to studying. That is my plan. That is my time. And that is what I hold on to.